Wakey Wakey!

David Cameron and his chums seem to think all they have to do in order to be installed in Downing Street after the General Election is not to cock anything up, take no risks and turn up on the day. I've got news for you sunshine, trying to be Tony Blair isn't working and nor are you. If this doesn't light a fire under you I don't know what will,


Thats right, the polls this weekend show the smallest lead for fourteen months over the most incompetent and corrupt government we've ever endured. It's time to get a sense of urgency and purpose if we're going to eject these wasters and I see no sign of it to date from the all things to all men Tory HQ. It's not fvcking working. It's almost as if they've been handed a winning lottery ticket and they're hard at work colouring in all the other boxes, just in case; muppets.

What we can do here, instead of swanning off to Brussels to tell the Germans we'll be nice to them if the Tories should, despite all their efforts to the contrary, win; is tell the rest of us in simple words how our lives will improve under the Tories. You might think that was a pretty simple exercise, given life for many of our countrymen could hardly be worse, but they fail consistently to get it right. Being a generous hearted fellow I'm going to give them a starter for ten. One simple thing that will get people on their side.

Get the fvcking bins emptied every week.

No discussion, no debate, no committees - "your bins will be emptied every week and any Local Council that is too stupid, arrogant or incompetent to do it will be replaced."

Interesting that these politicians are so scared of their own shadows that they are incapable of grasping the simplest concepts. Remember, it was the Tories in the 19th century who led the devolution of powers to Local Councils in order to improve standards of hygiene and sanitation. Of course, there are many big picture policy areas that they can, and do talk about but those issues can be covered in flannel. You see, the bins are very simple. Either they're emptied or they are not.

Gilts took fright this morning and yields rose on the back of yesterdays poll in the Sunday Times which suggests that if an election today we would be left with the buggers muddle of a hung parliament. Gilts aren't the only things taking fright I can tell you. Someone give Cameron a flying kick up the arse FFS.