Sadly, I've had to decline the kind offer of a ticket for Saturday so I won't be drinking Guinness in and around the leavy environs of Twickenham and generally enjoying the best day out of the year. I won't be doing that for two reasons.
First, the supine servants of SKY at the RFU have decreed that KO will be at 5pm, which largely achieves maximum disruption and inconveniance to the supporters forking out £70 a ticket. Whilst there are a few who will view it as an opportunity to spend an extra two and a half hours in the Turks Head, the majority probably conform to the long held view that 11am until 1pm in the pub is long enough before hooking up with your mates, well anyone realy, in the car park and then KO at the usual time. Our lives have been built around it FFS. Why can't I make a 5pm KO......?
Well, yes, Mrs Flashbang has booked me in for a "family celebration," in the evening. We're talking about a whole new level of potential cringing embarrassment here at an extended family get together in London. A different league to the usual "Oh, terribly sorry, he's been at the rugby," that Haslemere hostesses are used to hearing. It's just not worth the risk.
Thanks then, all just what I need to look forward to.
Booking anything on the evening of a 6 nations match is never going to end well, yet wives persist in doing it every year. What makes them think it will be different this year? Saturday evenings after Twickenham are for curry, beer and obviously some red wine just to make the mixture wholly unstable, for it is then that the 10 o'clock fairy taps us on the shoulder and lo.......... we become Brad Pitt, with the dancing ability of Travolta, the smouldering intense eyes of Clooney, and the lovable rouguish "give me a hug," gleaming smile of Farrell. You realy don't want that sort of delusional drunk slobering over your friends at dinner so girls, don't do it - just never book anything on rugby days.