How To Win A General Election With A Landslide; No 1

The analysis of last nights leaders debate is, of course, mostly a self perpetuating discussion between the political and media establishment, neither of whom can truly be said to represent the electorate who have long since been disenfranchised from any meaningful input. I've yet to talk to anyone who was left feeling upbeat and enthusiastic about any of the candidates but the real gloom and despair is left  for Tory supporters who are badly in need of a combative uplift.

Some observers feel that Cameron had a better debate, others think Clegg buttressed his positive position. So what? Well, the real winner is Brown. Whichever way I look at this thing, Brown is coming out on top. He must be overjoyed that he is still in touch with Cameron and could very possibly form the next government, coalition or otherwise. Who knows what tricks the Dark Lord has up his sleeve for the final run-in but you can be confident that there will be some upside surprises coming from Brown in the next 2 weeks, that's for sure and for certain.

Meanwhile, Cameron, who departed from the script very early on that said he should have an unassailable lead at this point, in fact I doubt he ever opened it, should be flapping and if he isn't, now would be a good time to wake up and start. Whilst I'm still of the view that the Clegg fire will burn out and the Tories will be returned with a majority, it's always a mistake to underestimate the bovine stupidity of whole legions of voters. The fact is, there is little sense of purpose or conviction to the Tory campaign. Actually, we all know it's been absent for years. There is no intellectual philosophy underpinning manifesto commitments and the "be nice to one, be nice to all," approach only leaves an impression of vapid weakness.

Moreover, the obvious inclination to downplay the Etonian thing only increases suspicion that Cameron is more spin than substance. He ought to stand up and be proud of it and note that we're quite used to having an Etonian at the helm every twenty or so years; it's been happening for at least the last hundred and fifty so I don't think anyone cares particularly. Competence is more of an issue.

So, we're all in rather a pickle because the last thing we want is more wanton destruction of our way of life and social engineering on an epic scale by Brown. It's time then, to go nuclear and deploy Hunk of Junk's manifesto.

Given all three "leaders," and I use that term very loosely, have displayed a total lack of understanding or just ignorance of the big picture issues facing people, I'm going to take everything down to a simple level that even David Cameron can understand. We can only hope that he might connect with at least some of the voters out there, who at the moment are bewildered and bemused at the sight of these manufactured individuals talking at manufactured events with manufactured arguments which are devoid of passion and emotion. It's all just a bit too American for most people.

In fact, and it grieves me to say it, the only people out there who are articulating the concerns of Joe Public are the BNP with UKIP trailing some way behind. That the main parties have left so many voters behind that the BNP are picking them up is horrifying. The BNP though, are smart. At a local level they take care of the little things that improve the community. Their local councillors make sure that broken windows are fixed, that playgrounds are fixed and that street lamps work. Smart but insidious for this is exactly how Nazisim began. Still, I'm not proud, if it works for them lets just nick it and get DC some traction.

So, over the coming days I'll be drip feeding some smart thinking which will turn the tide, reconnect DC with the voting public and bring the Tories back with a landslide. None of it is complicated but it will bloody work.

How To Win A General Election With A Landslide; No 1

Say this sentence on national television, "If you as a householder request it, I guarantee that your wheelie bin will be emptied every week, at no extra cost."

There, job jobbed.