One of the few uplifting moments of the whole election debacle was in it's aftermath when we enjoyed watching the tortured introspection of the kafkan, sandel wearing tofu munchers wondering how it all went wrong. It went wrong Cleggie boy, not because the electorate lost their bottle but because they eventually saw through your Alice in Wonderland manifesto. (Is it just me or is Cleggie beginning to adopt the mannerisms and voice characteristics of our future King, no not you Cleggie - sit down boy). Now, having given them a kick up the backside and put them in their rightful place as the third party, we now have this ridiculous comedy of us all being held to ransom by the Liberals whilst they hide like cowards behind the, "for the good of the country," cliche. Bollocks. If they cared about the country they would compromise instead of following self interest and get on with stabilising the nations bankrupt books.
Here's a newsflash for Cleggie and his dispirit band of cry babies; this country doesn't want the sort of electoral free for all that leads to the sort of coalition government that occasionally blows up in Europe. Insofar as I've noticed, my wife isn't called Bella, I don't eat pasta every night and I don't drive a Fiat whilst honking my horn and running over any innocent pedestrians. I'm English and the Tories have a majority of one hundred seats in England; we've made our mind up and if we were treated equally with Scotland and Wales the Liberals would be out on their arse. We don't need lecturing and the only reform we need is for equality.
If anyone can explain to me why a schoolkid from Surrey can't get into Edinburgh University but an Italian or Spaniard can then I'm all ears. It's a wonder people aren't out in the streets with their pitchforks as one particularly irritated friend has suggested.
In fact the Liberals have done a Jedi Mind Trick on the media who are trotting along lapping it up. As always, they are making a meal of events, especially the print media, before events to return to normal and they resume their inexorable decline in circulation.
The optimal outcome for the nation is to restart the LibLab bus which will drive straight off the cliff within months, we'll have another election and the Tories will return for ten years. Unbelievably, the only person emerging from this nonsense with any credit is Brown, the British love a good loser although there are those who suggest he will only leave when sectioned under the Mental Health Act.
We rumble then, still no government, which some of us might think is a good thing for a change; just leaving the wheels of State to be gently oiled by calm civil servants called Geoffrey and Charles. Meanwhile the media and all sorts of odds and sods politico's are in a manic feeding frenzy hanging on every morsel of rumour and gossip which is fine, except we're mostly the ones paying for it.
Obviously, it's way past time that they sorted themselves out. If they don't hurry up they'll all be getting the call to drag themselves up the Mall for a strict telling off from the Boss. The growing view that Dave should crack on with a minority government has a certain appeal, if only to watch Gordo try and bring a rainbow coalition together in the Commons. Clearly, thats a non starter and the Tories will ultimately benefit.
Three points though:
* I seriously doubt any of them can afford another election anytime soon
* If I were a conspiracy theorist I might think that Lab & the Tories are leading Cleggie up and down the hill to destroy his credibility and pack the Libs off to the wilderness for another few years
* Given the Euro bail out this week, which we're on the hook for to the tune of 25 bn through direct contribution and through our contribution to the IMF, we might conclude that we are not that far away from not needing elections in the West, as the Central Banks become the governing bodies. Monetary policy is dictating fiscal policy therefore, the govts will do what is asked of them by the central bankers
Due to the odd way in which seats are apportioned under our electoral system, had the numbers for the two leading parties been reversed, ie if Labour had won 36% and the Tories 29% of the votes cast then Labour would have finished with a big majority of almost 100 seats. That would be less than before but a working majority nonetheless with Cyclops in the driving seat.
Of passing interest is the view from America where they can't quite believe that a man who led his party to fewer seats than in the last Parliament is acting as kingmaker instead of facing the chop for failure.
"So much for those Yank-style televised leaders’ debates only a couple weeks back. Instead, Britain will end up with a leader who didn’t participate in the leaders’ debates, presiding over a coalition that wasn’t on the ballot, implementing a platform no party ran on, yet committed to transformative electoral reform for which there is no mandate”.