A couple of years ago I sat Mrs Flashbang down and adopting a suitably stern tone informed her that tough times lay ahead and we were going to have to cut our cloth accordingly, well take a chainsaw to it in fact. She accepted the news with an outer calm that I suspected hid an inner turmoil. In fact, I was, and not for the first time, quite wrong. She immediately took to the task in hand with some considerable relish and enthusiasm and put herself on an economic war footing. Within days a chicken pen appeared and wo betide any foxes who attempt to penetrate that compound; it's better protected than Guantanamo Bay.
Pigs soon followed and we've had a few of them, (the chap who came to "do," them is an undertaker in his spare time believe it or not), turkeys, which long since passed through and onto the table and then we have the cows or bullocks or whatever they are. I've taken an unusual interest in matters bovine early in the morning and listen to Farming Today on Radio 4 on the way to the station at ten to six every day. Where do you stand on culling badgers and bovine TB?
Anyway, meet Boris & Basil,
Now say goodbye because they're off for the chop. The next time I expect to see them they'll be sizzling steaks on the barbecue.
Do you think they've spotted something might be amiss.........