BP; Latest!

BP latest.

Interesting to note from in the flow blogsite, itooshaggedsarahferguson.com that the reason they can't plug the hole is that they actually drilled all the way through the Earth's core, coming out just South of downtown Merthyr Tydfil.

This is on good authority, and apparently no-one's noticed the 45k bpd flooding the streets there because they've all been in the pub since the election. Ramifications are huge as the Milford Haven refinery can be taken out of moth-balls and Wales will run a fiscal surplus from 2011, taking £33bn off the deficit in the process.

Gordon Brown has been quick to claim credit for the breakthrough, suggesting that it happened on his watch and as a direct result of his pleas to big business to dig a great big hole to bury that bigoted old dear he insulted in Rochdale.

A spokesman for BP said, "Bollocks, this is the last thing we bloody need. First the Yanks, now we're going to have to deal with the bloody Welsh. Drill the hole until you get to the oil we said but oh no, those bloody know all Texans we hired always know better and have to do everything bigger, deeper and faster than everyone else. Honestly, you could hammer six inch nails into their foreheads and it  wouldn't make any difference whatsoever. Well I'll be bollocksed if I'm carrying the can for this...... call Tracey in London, she can answer your questions with whatever we've made up for today."

No-one in Merthyr Tydfil could be found sober and coherant enough to comment.