In a crushing blow to my already failing latest attempt to shed some pounds the 2015 Rugby World Cup kicks off on Friday evening with England taking on Fiji at Twickenham. Hot dogs and Guinness are not a basis for slim and healthy living. They are though, the basis of the best six weeks in the calendar............ well, next to the Lions tours and the Six Nations.
Shedding some pounds has taken on renewed urgency since my last visit to the Knee Guy. 'Crumble,' he said, 'your marathon days are over.' I didn't interject at this point to highlight that they hadn't yet started but they are of course on my bucket list, some way though, below dinner with Natalie Portman and Carey Mulligan. As it happens, some years ago, ( before it became fashionably dull), I had the Crumble Kids write out their bucket lists. Two of the kids are systematically working their way through theirs with alarming success. The third has yet to smash a large flat screen television or dive into a pool of custard but then he was six at the time when he wrote it. I'm not making much progress at all but then I'm led to believe that Natalie Portman and Carey Mulligan are very busy people.
Back to Bradley then, (well, Mister Bradley to you and I and the best Knee Guy in the South of England), 'you see,' he went on, 'the old rusty truck is still rumbling down the road but there are too many bricks in the back. Lose some bricks Crumble and the knees will thank you. You're paying for the fun you had in younger days.' Message received Mr Bradley and of course, this just has to improve the delta on dinner with Natalie Portman and Carey Mulligan.
One chum of mine swears by his so far successful diet he calls 'The Beige Diet.' Bob is not a follower of fashion. Keeping things simple, like any good military man, Bob has opted for his own bespoke colour coded diet plan. Bob does things his way and Beige is o-u-t out. That means beer, chips, (well, anything fried), bread, pasta, coffee, biscuits, crisps and other such snacky instruments of the devil, rice and .... well, you get the idea. Unsurprisingly it works. I can see it catching on, 'Bob's Beige Diet takes the Diet Industry By Storm,' the headlines will scream.
Back to the subject in question, the glorious festival that is the RWC and the clever coves at Macquarie Wealth Management have produced their traditional Quant Guide to the competition. In it they conclude that the All Blacks are pre ordained finalists and will meet England on the 31st of October at Twickenham. Thing is, and as will be debated in every pub and rugby club bar across the world, anything can happen. Which is why it is such a beguiling and beautiful game. The diet will have to wait.