Watch & Learn John Lewis

The new and much anticipated John Lewis Christmas advert is out and bloggers and news sites up and down the country are shamelessly reposting it in the hope of picking up some stray hits; oh look, where did that come from?

And we're disappointed to find what a load of schmaltzy, sickly drivel it is. Completely unrecognisable to any family in the land. That is, unless your boy happens to be suffering from psychosis, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Most parents spotting similar behavioural traits would have their dearest hoiked in front of a child psychologist in quick time; mostly before the van marked "Child Care Protection," drew up outside. I liked to think that the John Lewis advert was conjured up every year in a convivial after lunch setting with port and cigars after a robust board meeting. Obviously, the board left it to some creative Johnnies from Hampstead this year. Big mistake. 

I'm here to help and lets just remind ourselves of what made giving great with one of the greatest tear jerker toy adverts ever devised. Watch and learn John Lewis, watch and learn. As for the rest of us, are you like me left with the lingering hollow thought that we've lost something in our lives with the t'internet? Some of the magic has definitely gone forever.